billie eilish song

Music can play a crucial role in emotional learning, helping us to reflect and learn about our own relationships both past and present.    

Here are some love lessons from Billie Eilish songs that offer insightful lessons about healthy and unhealthy love.

Negative self-talk and the journey to find self-love

Sometimes the relationship we need to evaluate most is the one with ourselves. The Billie Eilish song “idontwannabeyouanymore”, also heard on The Voice, depicts a narrator talking to herself in the mirror, struggling with insecurities and self-loathing.  

While the song’s title clearly evokes this negative self-talk, it also has a positive spin: the narrator is breaking away from her past—“we’ve made every mistake”—and telling herself she will no longer be that broken person. The sentence “I don’t wanna be you” changes meaning throughout the song, from self-deprecation to self-liberation.  

Self-love can come when we are more mindful, aware of how what we are thinking and how we are feeling.  

Experiencing the fear and wonder of falling in love

The ethereal song “Ocean Eyes” performed by Billie Eilish describes the fear, hesitation, and beauty of falling in love.  

The narrator expresses awestruck wonder—“can’t stop staring at those ocean eyes”—and an overwhelming feeling of emotion—“you really know how to make me cry.” The road to a healthy relationship often involves feeling insecure, afraid, and uncertain. But it’s those first steps into love, feeling mesmerized and vulnerable, that lead you on a wonderful journey. 

Grappling with heavy emotions as you work through complications in a relationshipwhen

Let’s face it—most relationships are complicated at one time or another. The song on Billie’s new album “I Love You” describes two lovers who care for each other and emotionally wound each other at the same time.  

Having made her lover cry, the narrator describes her own inner turmoil as she croons “I love you and I don’t want to.” Having allowed herself to be vulnerable—“Never been the type to let someone see right through”—the narrator ultimately admits, “I can’t escape the way I love you”. If you are in a relationship, you are pretty much guaranteed to get into arguments.  

This Billie Eilish song gives us another truth lesson about love: real love is messy.  

Difficulty of finding closure in a relationship

Billie’s song “When the Party’s Over” describes a narrator struggling to move on from her relationship.  

Though she dislikes the quiet at home, she has “learned to lose” her partner and asks, “Let’s just let it go. Let me let you go.” Yet she still intends to call them after the party. Relationships can be difficult to move on from.  We struggle with a suddenly quiet house compared to the lively interactions and communication in a relationship.  

This song captures the emotional roller coaster of going back and forth as the narrator tries to put some distance between herself and her partner. 

Hopefully we’ve inspired you to put on some Billie Eilish songs and reflect on these love lessons! ​